Enigmatic dreams...unravel at your feet

deira2006 @ 2008-05-04T14:17:00

2008-05-04T13:27:53Z

When did life become so expendable? when did this darkness become innate in people around us. Somebody got stabbed in my area waiting to buy a freaking Grand Theft Auto game, no reason at all other than he wouldnt let them push in line. It makes me sick... Borris Johnson for all his political misfits, the new mayor of London he better make some changes.

Anyhoo on a lighter note, my last exam is on June 16th and i really cannot wait! I just got confirmation on my holiday too for June 25th, going to MIlan baby!!

I just wanted to make a quick post to let ya'll know that this summer im really gonna be back on LJ, posting and commenting so dont give up on me just yet k?! lol!

xo ..
-De
.. ox

Remember when ....

2007-10-14T15:16:42Z

This weeks been all about uni visits and applications and as soon as i make one decision i feel completely unsure with everything else....

so heres the thing....i know most people dont know what they're gonna do for the rest of their lives but i really dont. My dad is putting through the papers the move over to canada cause most of our family lives over there but it would be without my two older brothers. Our family is a little broken but thats what made us so close...its weird to think that im gonna miss out on the big things..like my oldest bro and his wife (who i ADORE) are gonna start having kids soon and im not gonna be there. its the moments that im gonna miss out on...plus i had all my plans to go to uni over here...i love London. I do. So if any of ya'll are from Toronto let me know what you like about it. I've gone maybe once a year since i was little but visitor perspective is always different from a native's. I think it would be good for my parents though....we dont really get along as such but im not heartless, i know they've worked hard they whole lives and they deserve to be happy and i dont see that happening here...

I was going to take a gap year anyway....so maybe thats how ill do this...take a gap year over there...then come back and do uni over here... i dont know...

Anyways on another note whats going on with greys? it seems like its lost something to me...i dont know what it is or how i feel about george/izzie, i feel that george's character has lost something this season...he feels like a completely different character.

Plus does anyone know when one tree hill is coming back?

you should be stronger than me

2007-10-04T18:48:53Z

How long till Christmas break?!?! jeez i've only been back at college for about 3-4 weeks and im already exhausted! Sorry to everyone on my flist that i've been seriously neglecting. I've started work on some main pieces for art, one of my topics is how to show age in art and one is movement so i'll post up some pictures pretty soon. I'm just about to start my critical research paper for media on how realistic is the portrayal of teenage girls in modern film (or something along those lines i havent really set it in stone yet), particularly in Mean girls and Bully...so if ya'll have any suggestions just let me know :D

On the plus side though i've finished my psych coursework on the physical attractiveness in couples and...my FRAY tickets came today!!!! November 5th roll on baby!!

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Now playing: Bryan Greenberg - Someday
via FoxyTunes

the result of boredom

2007-06-18T14:53:53Z

hmm..this is just something that sprang to mind...just some good old original fiction...God knows if i'll be able to finish it! lol!

Four words.

Who knew? I dont know what made me say it, why i'm even here. I'm not the same person I used to be and i cant decide whether I'm happy or sad about it. Leaving this place was the best thing for me. I know that and so does he.

I think

A brush of the arm, the familiar contact rushing back to me but I cant look up. I cant move. I know he'll be able to tell and I cant take the disappointment. The thought alone leaves me burning and I cant breathe.

...one...

...two...

...three...

'Eva'

Startled. Blue meets brown and I think maybe I should keep counting. Blinking. Breathing...anything. But I can't because he wont let me and the knowing smirk planted on his face tells me as much. This isn't time for games, subtlety was never our thing.

Now it's time for answers, he wants to know why I'm here, quite frankly so do I.

My gaze drops and I turn towards the window. Pressing forward leaning against the cold surface. Hard and punishing. Maybe that's why I'm here, to hurt?

I close my eyes with a sigh and think back to four years ago. When things were the other way round, when it was him. Its hard to believe so much time has passed. Its mind boggling to think that its been that long since I've felt the warmth of his touch or listened to his incessant chatter. How I've come to miss it, the funny thing is, that everyone told me he would never be good enough for me.

I bet they never thought that one day our roles would be reversed.

'You want a drink?' he says pulling me from my reverie. His face wiped blank. I hate it when he does that...closes himself off. You see, he used to have so many walls up around him but back then he let me into his sanctity and now I see how much damage I've done. I wish he'd let me know what to expect, give me some kind of inclination to what he's thinking. But I know he wont, I dont know why i expected anything differently.

'God yes,' I say. He has no idea.

comments are love ; )

open my mind and words come out

2007-06-17T09:31:04Z


Does	This	Tease?


1.	2.	3.	4.	5.

6.	7.	8.	9.	10.

11.	12.	13.	14.	15.

16.	17.	18.	19.	20.

**No Hotlinking and please comment when using!

Ta da.

Stay with you part 2

2007-04-09T20:57:33Z

Its been absolute ages i know but here is the second part to my Dark angel fic stay with you. M/A of course

Part One

And now....

Part Two

He’s thinking again. His body stiffens beneath mine even as his breathing remains slow and pensive. I should open my eyes and ask him what’s wrong but I just can’t bring myself to break the silence.

Strangely comforting. There’s something I never thought I’d admit about the pretty boy. I know it’s not fair, just crawling into his bed at night but he didn’t ask questions, there was no pressure. So I could just carry on pretending which is something I’m good at I suppose.

Its not like I’m fooling anyone though, I know what everyone thinks about me.

‘She cant do this’

‘She’s gonna get us killed’

I may be their leader but I don’t have their faith, the jampony siege might have gained me their respect but at the end of the day I’ll always be the X5 who ran away. Alec does what he can, he thinks I don’t know but I’ve seen him out there…defending me even though I’ve been a complete bitch.

Logan thinks it’s because he’s in love with me, isn’t that something? But then again he believes we’d been dating for months.

I wince as I recall our last conversation. It was three months after the terminal city barricade, I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t breathe and I needed the space needle. I just wanted out for a little while. I should’ve just left it at that but I couldn’t sneak out and then not even check to see if my not like that boyfriend was ok.

“Hey, what’s the what?” I asked standing in the doorway of Joshua’s old place making sure I kept atleast three feet between us.

startled, blue met brown. Computer screen long forgotten as that familiar smile crept to his face.

“Hey you” He said, leaning towards me.

“I’ve been meaning to come see you, but you know how it is” and just like that the old times were over. The longing smile he’d held for me suddenly turned to an accusation.

“So how is Alec?”

“Don’t -”

“Listen Max…I… I’m sorry. I know you two are together now. I know he loves you but things haven’t changed for me yet and its gonna take some time.” He said, his eyes pleading for me to understand. It was then that it hit me that there was no gut wrenching longing for the man sitting before me. Sure I missed him, but is that the makings of some great love story?

Before I could help myself the words were out of my mouth,
“Hmph, you think Alec loves me?” My voice expressing how unconvinced I was at that.

Logan held my gaze before giving me a knowing smile.
“Max, you haven’t exactly been rolling out the carpet for him but he’s stuck around. He’s had your back and hes still doing that in Terminal City.”

“Doesn’t mean he loves me Logan, he cares about me, im his family.” I responded, surprised at the hurt I felt at the truth of it.

“You cant honestly believe that? I’ve seen the way he looks at you. How he holds his head that bit higher whenever you’re mentioned. He used to irritate the hell out of you but it got you to smile. I knew from the beginning that Alec wasn’t just manticore trouble…he was a threat…to what we had. And seeing you two together I see how right it is.”

I almost wanted to laugh, Logan if only you knew. I had to get out of there is all I could think as I backed towards the door.

“ I gotta blaze, I’ll check in soon” And as fast as I entered I was gone again, there was no gazing into each others eyes with that unspoken promise that we’d be ok. No.

We were too far gone for that.

Standing outside that doorway, in a silence so deafening I wanted to scream. It felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me as I realised just how alone I was. The utter desolation constricting in my chest as I sank to my knees.

And cried.

I sat there until my eyes were raw from the brush of my leather gloves. My knees just barely supporting me as I made my way back to TC. It seemed fitting that on such a lonely night in Seattle…it rained…as though it was trying to drown us all.

I don’t remember setting my bike down, or the walk up the 3 levels there but I found myself standing outside. Where he was.

Bracing myself against the frame, I bowed my head forward and inhaled the scent that had become so familiar to me. I closed my eyes gaining the strength I needed to go through with this.

…

…

…

No response.

…Come on…

Tired of waiting I let myself in, my trembling hands grasping at the cold handle only to step in and find myself staring down the barrel of Alec’s gun.

And oh God I was so tired.

So unbelievably exhausted.

My resolve already beginning to waver I raised my eyes to his and in an instant I was in his arms. Clinging to him.

Warm, solid and real.

I mumbled my request to stay into cotton of his shirt revelling at the comfort it brought and just like that he led me to his bed and held me all night long.

When morning came, I felt…

Rested.

But in the midst of a whole new problem. I have to admit though, it wasn’t a horrible way to wake up. His hair ruffled and sticking up in all the wrong places Alec looked incredibly sweet in that moment.

Shaking away that thought, I disentangled myself and left without a sound. I couldn’t deal with this. Not now.

It was just a moment of weakness that’s all and besides Alecs the resident Tomcat. He doesn’t care…not like that.

The day went by and thanks to the daily demands of running the city I was able to keep my mind off of him. That is until he came swaggering into my office.

His ever present smirk no where to be seen. With a demeanour that definitely meant business.

“Max” He greeted.

“Oh hey Alec, is there something you need cause I got a lot to do here.” I stated with an air of nonchalance.

“Max, what happened last night?”

And there it is. The exact question I was dreading because honestly I didn’t have an answer.

“I don’t want to talk about that”

“Well I want to talk about it”

“Alec” I warned, my chin tilted upwards defiantly.

“Max, I just want to help.” Looking at him I knew his words were genuine but I didn’t want to hear it. If I started talking now, I was bound to break down and that is something I couldn’t afford to do especially not in HQ. I had things to prove.

“Well I don’t need your help,” I stated, “I don’t need you”

He had no idea what an absolute lie that was.

X5-494. Some days his cocky, smartass comebacks were all that kept me going. Kept me fighting.

Alec’s jaw clenched. Eyes glinting dangerously he nodded and ground out a “Fine, if that’s the way you want it.”

As he turned to leave I let out a shuddering breath before I heard, him so quietly, I almost missed it.

“It might not mean much Max but I’m here if you do ever need me…see ya later.”

My hands gripped at my desk so tightly I could feel the sharp pain and I welcomed it. Clenching my eyes shut I willed the tears back that threatened to fall.

When had Alec become such a big part of my life? Such a touchstone?

I’d planned on keeping my distance and clearing my head but nightfall came and brought the same loneliness along with it.

And that’s how It began. We spend out nights together now, every night without fail. He never mentions it, that’s our one unspoken agreement. Most nights he stays awake, watching over me. We both know it but I keep my eyes closed in the safety of the darkness.

I never really questioned it before but every night I go to him, his body heat so inviting in the cold of our powerless home and every night he’s alone.

I don’t hear the stories of his sordid little adventures anymore or hear the girls talking about his latest squeeze.

What did that mean?

Questions flooded my head as I tried to come up with answers.

Is he ok with that? Does he want it to stop?

Startled with where my mind was taking me, my eyes locked his piercing through the shadows…

“Alec”

A.N: Please review, it really helps, Any ideas let me know... best review gets a priiiiize :D lol

Dark Angel Fic

2006-11-13T06:44:19Z

Title: Stay with me
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I own nothing! if i did things would've gone alot differently on the show
Summary: Alec gets a visit in the night, but what is going on?

Read and Review another AN at the bottom:)

Nightly encounters

He awoke from his restless slumber to find his arm curled under a warm body.

He didn’t even notice that she’d crept into his room and slid into his arms. Now that’s saying a lot considering his transgenic senses. It was that scent…her scent, it put him completely at ease.

Vanilla and Leather

Such a contradiction in itself but then again so completely her. Tough and durable with an indescribable passion and a vulnerability she’s only begun to show.

His eyes slowly took in the features of her face. He’d been in this position so many times now, he could close his eyes and be able to see every inch of her face. The beauty spot on her cheek. The small scar on her brow, which is usually hidden by her long brown tresses.

His heart breaks when he notices the frown on her face. On a good night it was only a slight pout but most nights he could still see the tracks of her tears as she slept.

With a sad smile he forced himself to remember that she didn’t feel the same, she didn’t know how many nights he lay there just watching her, trying to memorise the way she felt nestled against his body.

And boy did he have that memory burned into his mind. The way she fit against him made him question once more whether she really had been made for him. Her head lay comfortably in the crook of his neck with her hands splayed across his chest resting on top of his beating heart.

In the morning he wouldn’t say a thing. It’s the least he could do for her, give her the comfort and warmth of being held.

After all the times she’d saved him, hell she set him free. He wouldn’t ask what had driven her to him. It wasn’t his place to ask such things. Besides she didn’t want him…not like that.

It was raining the first night she came to him. No scratch that, it was practically a tsunami out there. He’d been on sentry duty most of the night and by time he reached his squat of an apartment at TC all he wanted to do was sleep.

Of course that wasn’t what someone else had planned for him. Instead he was woken by a sharp knock at the door but he simply turned his head and hoped that whoever it was would just go away.

No more that a minute later he heard his lock being picked and someone had just let themselves in. Instantly he sat upright in his bed, his hand automatically reaching for the glock underneath the mattress.

That’s when he heard it. The muffled sound of cries as she came into sight at the doorway of his room. He was too baffled to ask her what had happened or what she had come to find him for.

Realising that he was still holding his gun he quickly dropped it back into its place before cautiously walking towards her and pulling her into his arms. He was actually surprised at the force in which she clung to him, he could feel the wetness, as her tears dripped down his neck.

Never before had he seen her so broken. Well so openly broken in his company. He’d always known how unhappy she was, the bruises he had, a testament to that. But this, no this was something else, something on a completely different level.

When her sobs subsided Alec drew back,

“Max, what’s wrong?”

Brown eyes hesitantly rose to meet his. He half expected her to glare at him and spew a ‘you tell anyone about this and I’ll kick your ass’ but instead she just stared up at him, suddenly looking lost and very young.

“I don’t want to talk Alec. I just…” Seemingly embarrassed she looked down and mumbled “can you just hold me please…I don’t want to be alone.”

Shocked and wide eyed Alec could do nothing but nod and say “Of course Maxie, whatever you need.” He brought a hand back to hers and gently guided her to his bed, suddenly he wasn’t so tired anymore. Gingerly wrapping his arms around her, drawing her close, a million questions popped into his head.

He had no idea what was going on. And apparently at that moment she was not going to tell him.

Funnily enough, for all that shark DNA in her cocktail she fell asleep pretty fast. Must have been exhausted he thought. Those were his last thoughts as his own fatigue carried him into the darkness.

When he woke the next morning he was alone and for a brief moment he wondered if it was all just a dream. Except his dreams involving Max usually went a lot differently and evidence of her presence was her scent all over him.

Confused, he got ready and headed into HQ to find out what the hell was going on. It seemed like everyone had something to show him that morning. He didn’t get a chance to see Max until atleast 4pm that day.

Cautiously he knocked on the door to her office before blatantly opening it to step through. There she sat, at her desk amidst a pile of paper not even glancing up to acknowledge him.

“Max”

“Oh hey Alec, is there something you need cause I got a lot to do here.”

“Max, what happened last night?” He asked pushing himself closer as he spoke “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t want to talk about that” she stubbornly replied,

“Well I want to talk about it”

“Alec” she warned, eyes glinting dangerously.

“Max, I just want to help.” He pleaded, his eyes begging to see his sincerity and concern.

“Well I don’t need your help,” Finally she raised her head and added, “I don’t need you”

Alec’s jaw clenched, he nodded and ground out a “Fine, if that’s the way you want it.” Turning on his heel he reached for the door but with one last look at her, he saw how defeated she looked. Her shoulders slightly slumped forward and her hands bracing against the wooden desk as if it were the only thing holding her up.

Releasing a sigh he softly said, “It might not mean much Max but I’m here if you do ever need me…see ya later.”

They didn’t talk about it again but the late night visits continued, he wouldn’t ask her about it and she pretended it never happened.

But at night when he held her in his arms she was as open as she’d ever been. So he just gave her what she wanted. He held her like a lover when they slept but in the morning he let her untangle herself and leave. They both knew he was awake but they pretended anyway. It was easier this way.

He watched her in awe and tenderly brushed a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Why couldn’t she see how much he’d changed? Genetically engineered supersoldier and still, x5 494, Alec, would never be enough for her.

As if she were reading his mind her eyes blinked open, searching his own.

“Alec…”

A.N:

To be continued! Update should be sometime next week as long as college isn’t too hectic. Please review! It helps the creative juices lol! The next chapter should be in Max’s POV. Im thinking that this will be a 3 part piece

bad day!

2006-11-01T20:11:15Z

Wow yesterday was pretty damn bad! First college was lame, my lessons felt like they'd never end, then i finally get ready to go home and i realise i'd lost my phone! Then to top off an amazing day i had to walk home in the dark, these damn hoodlums were fricken everywhere cause of halloween. GRRR! anyhoo today was better! My final piece painting is looking alot better and i'm started to write my lastest fic! yay!

Rough Week - Dark Angel Fic

2006-10-26T12:10:59Z

It had been a rough couple of weeks, Alec sat, his head in his hands leaning over onto the desk in his office. Looking around, he absently ran a hand over his face.

They’d had encounter with White today, ambushed Max when she was on her way to see Logan. Nobody left Terminal City on their own in fear of White or even the mobs of transgenic hating ordinaries, but Max needed to get out for a while. She needed to check in on OC and Logan. Alec, wasn’t happy with the idea but could understand how she felt. He’d wanted to go with her but he had to pull a heist for medical supplies that they desperately needed, so imagine how he felt when he got back and Dix had told him that Max was gone. White took her. When? Shit. Where?

At that moment Alec felt something he’d only felt once before. Despair, complete utter despair. They had no way of locating her but he was a soldier and he had a mission to complete. That in mind he raced to Logan’s. Not very shocking that he found him sitting in front of his computer only sparing him a glance as he walked in. Max had told him the truth about their “relationship” a couple of days after the siege began but it changed nothing, she still couldn’t risk having him close and he still couldn’t shake the fierce jealousy he had for 494.

“White has Max” was all that Alec said, and watched as realisation dawned on the older man. He frantically typed on his keyboard, looking for anything that could be of help. Not wanting to waste any time, Alec had Dix working on some hacks as well to find out where White had last been seen and sent a group of Xs scouting around some of his usual spots.

Turns out Eyes Only doesn’t have such a repertoire anymore, he couldn’t come up with anything that could save her. Alec might of felt bad for the guy if they weren’t running out of time. There were more important things to worry about than trying to salvage the man’s ego, he just walked out of his apartment and back to HQ.

Nothing. There wasn’t a trace of where to find her. Every lead they had came up to a dead end and he was beginning to lose faith. His fists coiled and moved on their own accord.

BANG. You cant find her, you really are just a screw up.

BANG. She could be dead.

BANG. Why did you let her go in the first place?

Staring down at his bloodied hands, Alec felt his stomach clench, something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Alec! Alec. We got something.”

His expression hardened as he saw what Dix was showing him. It was a tape…of Max. Alone. Beaten. Crying. Then suddenly White, telling him where she was. It was a trap everyone knew it. It was supposed to be obvious, it was meant to tell Alec to come for her and try to fight for her. He wanted his son, and if he couldn’t have him then he was going to inflict as much pain on the pair of x5s as he could.

It wasn’t even a question of if he was going to go. But he couldn’t afford to risk everyone else, Mole didn’t attempt to stop him but moved swiftly behind him saying he’d go as well.

“Someone needs to watch your ass princess and right now it sure as hell aint gonna be Max”

His eyes jagged with determination and his face blank, that of a soldiers mask. He gave Mole a small nod before walking out to get prepared. If they were going to go. They were going to strike fast and hard.

Creeping down into the tunnels. Alec had a sense of déjà vu, if it wasn’t Ames White and his band of familiars it was a transgenic in need of rescuing. That’s what his life had become now, running through these tunnels that lead them out of TC, risking his life for freak nation. ‘Nothing can ever be simple with you Maxie can it?’ She might not have noticed it, but he wasn’t just an irresponsible jerk, well at least not anymore. Living out on his own, making a life for himself, finding friends, it had changed him and it all began with her. She gave him a name. She made him a man. Remembering her words from when they’d first met, ‘if you’re gonna be a hero, you cant be half assed about it.’ He just wasn’t ready to be without her, voicing those thoughts he turned to Mole.

“We’re bringing her home.”

Alec didn’t know what to expect once he got there but this definitely wasn’t it. They’d made their way to the warehouse. It was completely silent apart from the noise of the wind striking the windows and there sat Max alone in the middle of the room. Binds found scattered behind her. Blood crusted over her wrists, her small frame battered and bruised. She just sat there gazing at them, eyes cold and distant.

“They’re dead…White’s gone but the rest of them…they’re dead”

Neither Mole nor Alec knew entirely what this meant, how many familiars were there? Where was White? Did Max do this? Thoroughly taking in her appearance Alec wasted no time in helping Max up and off the ground whilst strategically taking in his surroundings. Mole promptly doing the same, the three of them hurried to the safest secure location. Logan’s.

Alec was torn between feeling incredible relief and sheer confusion, once they had ‘obtained’ some suitable transportation he just sat silently in the back with her. He knew this was a time to hold his tongue. Something huge had just taken place. He could feel it, waves of guilt and sadness radiating from the woman who had already seen and lost so much. Sensing his gaze Max looked up at him, soulful brown eyes met his own. Hesitating slightly she laid her head down on his shoulder choking back a sob as his arm wrapped around her and began rubbing soothing circles on her back.

It didn’t take long to get back to Logan’s apartment,

“Max! Are you ok? What happened, what did that bastard do?” Logan just wanted to take her into his arms and keep her there. He hated seeing her hurt and knowing that he could go nothing about it. Max just looked at him for what seemed like forever, his concern for her warmed her heart but right now she didn’t want his concern and she didn’t want to answer anyone’s questions.

“I’m fine Logan, I just need a little while to rest, you know get myself together, thanks for letting us stay.” She tried to smile but it just ended up as a grimace. She settled herself on the couch and laid her head back, eyes tightly closed she let out a heaving breath. She felt his presence before she heard it, it was like a sixth sense when it came to him and that alone was quite disturbing at times. She’d like to say it’s just a transgenic thing but she knew that was no where near the truth. Somehow he’d managed to get under her skin and didn’t seem like he was going anywhere. He was never supposed to have gotten so close, why hadn’t she been able to turn him away like everyone else.

Memories of the last days just came crashing down at her. The unbearable pain made her want to cry out but she just curled her legs beneath her and rested an arm over her face. When White had captured her, she’d tried to buy her time until she figured out a way out of there or someone came for her. The torture, the beating, burning and lasers she expected but then…then came something worse.

She was already shot full of drugs when they put her into the room. And there lying on the ground was a body. Lying in a pool of his own blood. Oh no. No. It was Alec. This was all too similar. Oh God he’s gone too, just like Ben. I’ve lost them both. Falling to the ground she took him into her arms, stroking his hair back as tenderly as she could manage.

“I’m sorry Alec, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have listened. I should’ve stayed with you, we always have each other’s backs.” Tears tumbling down her face. She couldn’t appear weak but they just wouldn’t stop, effortlessly they rolled down her cheeks. Tasting of salt and blood and pure agony.

“Aww, looks like she didn’t get to say goodbye to her boyfriend. And aint it a damn shame since he came all the way here for her. Well don’t you worry he’s gone now, just where slime like you belong,” the familiar sneered at her shaking his fiery red hair.

Max was distraught, it was her fault, he’d died because he tried to protect her. She couldn’t breathe, a stronger feeling was overpowering her. There was a darkness, surrounding her, choking her. And suddenly it was gone. It felt as if she was looking down at herself as another person. In a blur she had snapped the red head’s neck and ran down towards the rest of them. They would pay for what they’ve done.

One by one they fell, until there were only three people left in the room.

White. Herself, and the familiar that Alec fought at Jampony, Thora. Max let a sardonic smile appear on her face as she turned to the bitch. Lunging towards her she threw a shattering blow to her knee, The snap was distinct and it just urged Max on. She was going to take her time and she was planning on enjoying taking this bitch’s life. For what they’d done to Alec, for what they’d done to her.

Ames White just stood watching on, a smirk plastered on his face. He watched riveted as Thora struck her with enough power to kill an ordinary and she merely just shook it off before casting countless iron blows to her head. White simply shook his head and walked away, thinking that this was going to be a very interesting new game. Just wait 452, this has only just begun.

Max knew it was over when she delivered the final blow earning a piercing crack. She turned, eagerly waiting to take on White when she’d realised he was gone. This is what he wanted. To break her. And that is what he’d done, she thought grimly. She didn’t want to leave, she just wanted to crawl back to Alec and let the darkness swallow her. Inching slowly back to where he was. She gasped.

It wasn’t Alec! Her clouded features, cleared, taking in the sight before her.

He didn’t even look like Alec, his hair jet black, his face marrowed with a frown. Understanding finally dawned on her. It was a trick. Alec wasn’t dead. Max was hit with a wave of disbelief and exhaustion. She felt an urgent need to distance herself from what had just occurred. She dragged herself into another room and sat down cross-legged in the stale dust and grime.

That’s where they had found her, hours later. She hadn’t dared to close her eyes incase her nightmares brought forward something even worse. She still wasn’t sure what had happened wasn’t just a horrible nightmare. It was Mole and was it truly him this time? In a daze Max could do nothing but stare hoping that this was real and that they’d be taking her home.

It didn’t actually hit her until they were in the car when Max found herself being lost in his hazel eyes, tentative and gentle. It was him! It was!

The next thing she knew she was at Logan’s. Why were they there? All she wanted was to go back to Terminal City, to go home.

Opening her eyes she turned so she could fully look her partner in crime, who had come to mean more to her than she ever could’ve imagined.

“You know, I think this is the longest time you’ve ever been quiet for.” She said hoping to get things back to normal. She just wanted to forget.

Glad for the distraction he replied “Yeah well I figured I needed to think up some new material to make up for the last couple of days you missed” This he could handle, it was always so easy to slip back into their effortless banter.

She gave him a small grin and slowly nestled herself into his side. Inhaling his scent. The cheap soap that was available to all TC residents, with a mixture of something that was so uniquely him. It was only then that her eyes began to droop, in the safety of his arms. She knew that he would protect her. Not that she’d needed protection, if nothing else she’d proved that. But she felt she could let her guard down around him knowing that he’d watch her back.

She woke with a start. He wasn’t there.

“Alec” she called out startled, maybe it was just a dream. No No she could still smell him on her but where was he now.

“He had to go. Something important at TC. He didn’t want to wake you.’ Came Logan’s gentle voice from behind her. He had come out to check on her during the night and found her in Alec’s arms. Even he couldn’t deny how right the scene looked. They both looked so peaceful in their sleep. One would never of guessed the dangerous lives they lead. It was then that he realised how foolish it was of him to think that he could ever compete. He would never be able to challenge her the way he could. After all he was the perfect match.

“Max, everything is alright, stay, rest. Alec said he’d send someone over to pick you up in the morning. We thought that you could use the rest.” He finished with a sad small, that seemed to be reserved only for her.

“Ok, thanks, I guess even sharks need some sleep huh” With that she settled back down making herself comfortable.

With one last look at her before he went back to his own bedroom he watched as some hair fell onto her face. She deserved someone who would be able to love her to fullest to be able to simply brush some hair out of her face. With a rueful shake of his head he turned away knowing that he would always love her without truly ever having her.

It had been a rough couple of weeks, Alec sat, his head in his hands leaning over onto the desk in his office. Looking around, he absently ran a hand over his face.

“Ok pretty boy, whats on the agenda today”

“Geez Max what are you doing here, everything’s being taken care of, you shouldn’t be up doing this stuff yet.”

“Calm down Alec, I’m a big girl. Its just that things are still a little weird with Logan and I really wanted to get back here.”

“Are you ok?” he asked as he got up to stand before her.

“Yeah, I’m ok… I don’t want to talk about it yet” she said abruptly “just know that White’s still out there and I doubt, that was the last we’ve seen of him”

With a small sigh he raised his hand to her cheek, gently running his thumb over a dark blue bruise found there. Leaning into the comfort he was providing Max remembered something.

“Alec thanks for coming for me,”

Surprised, his hand stilled. Max was saying thankyou? To him? Her head ducked unable to meet his questioning eyes. Using her chin to lift her gaze he softly said,

“Maxie, you’re important to TC and to me, you don’t ever need to thank me for coming to help you…hell you’ve done it enough for me. Its what we do. Heh. That’s our thing. “

Unable to hide the tug of her lips, she looked up and stunned them both by throwing her arms around his neck. On impulse he puller her small body flush against his, one hand threaded in her hair keeping her close.

The relief he felt, having her in his arms, was indescribable.

“We need to be so much more careful Max. We came so close-“

“Shh” she said quietly raising a finger to his lips to silence him. They were treading on new grounds here. For months they’d been playfully flirting but neither wanted to risk their newfound friendship by taking the next step. But Max had seen just how close they’d come, she’d grieved over a body that she believed was his. Felt a sense of loss for the chances that they didn’t take. And now was the time that she was either going to run back to her safety net or let herself be loved by the man who always managed to know how.

Raising herself on her toes and taking his face in her hands she brushed her lips across his own. Alec eagerly responded running his tongue along her bottom lip, teasingly seeking access. Nipping and caressing in a way she’d so long imagined he would. Moments later needing air, they broke apart. Alec took her hands, which were laid flat on his chest into his.

“Huh, I always knew you wanted me Maxie.”

Outside Mole stood, with an uncharacteristic smile on his face. yep. Things were just starting to get interesting...

The End

London Baby

2006-10-24T22:38:31Z

Hmm...today was fun, I showed a German exchange student around London. Its funny how you take it for granted living in a big city! I mean other than going shopping i hadnt been to the big sights in yeaaaarrs!! well anyways i got some more stories in the works, that'll be coming up soon. Keep me preoccupied while i wait for Prison Break season 2 to start in the Uk!!!

Avatars

2006-10-23T17:37:48Z

***

New story

2006-10-22T22:03:02Z

My first dark angel fanfiction posted can also be found at fanfiction.net:

MUSINGS IN THE NIGHT

He never really believed in that sentimental stuff, he left that to ‘wheels’ and his pasta dinners. But there was something that had to be said when you finally felt the way he did now.

After the life that he had, he wasn’t sure that he’d ever get the chance at being happy, really truly happy. He wasn’t sure if even deserved to be. The horrible things that he’d done, they still haunted him. Came as startling reminders in the middle of the night. But then again, that was a gift to all manticore alumni he mused.

After a year spent fighting in Terminal City. Blood had been shed and Lives were lost. The battle had no longer been against White and the familiars but against the ordinaries everyday. As the time passed, he no longer felt the need to sneak out of the tunnels that bounded them and into the seattle night life. He was slowly becoming a family man, and damnit if these freaks weren’t his family.

But tonight everything had changed again, the siege was over. Apparently the government no longer deemed transgenics as a threat. This morning, a request was sent for 12 Xs to go on a mission on behalf of the United States of America. How long can this quid pro quo possibly last? Is what runs through his mind but he mentally shakes his head deciding to just enjoy this moment.

“What are you thinking about?” Came a soft voice from beside him.

Surprised that he hadn’t notice her wake he glanced down at her with a smirk and cockily replied “hmm, wouldn’t you like to know”

“Smartass”

His smirk slowly turning into a genuine grin, he stares down as his mate, confortable and completely sated. He was not an idealist but a realist and knew that this was no fairytale romance. They were not soulmates and did not have candlelit dinners whilst they gazed into each others eyes. But what started as a simple need to release in the comfort of one of their own slowly developed into a fierce love.

Sure they fought but nobody could say that they weren’t passionate or that the didn’t have great make up sex, the thought alone bringing back countless memories of when they had come back to his place for more pleasurable activities. And now they were free.

As if reading his mind,

“So what do you wanna do tomorrow?” She asks with a smile that she knows he can see in the darkness, whist glancing around the room.

“Subtle” He says, noticing her scrutinizing the box filled room

“What? Can you blame me for not wanting my room full of boxes for the rest of my life?”

A full blown smile on his face, knowing the implications of her words and the fact that she’d so openly stated them he lays a kiss on her temple before whispering in her ear, “our room Maxie, our room.”

The End

Back at livejournal

2006-10-22T21:57:05Z

I've grown tired of blogging on my webpage with cutenews, it was starting to drive me crazy so i'm back to where it all began....livejournal! Anyways, Im on half term from college this half term so i figured i'd get things sorted while i have the chance.